Cereal TOC

Cereal: Breakfast of Champions

Table of Contents

Many thanks to Sara Frank and Adam Warner for beginning the serial 'As the Gingko Grows' which I have continued as 'Cereal.' Paul, Sharpe (renamed Sloane), and Cynthia are their creations. I owe them a great debt. Also, thanks to anyone who read previous versions.

Part One: The Search for Cynthia
In which we meet Paul, Cynthia, Sloane, and the Snow Monkey^tm:

"Paul’s liver flip-flopped. His spleen did jumping jacks. Something about drugs. Something about free drugs."

Part Two: A Kick in the Liver is Worth Two in the Head
In which Paul's substance abuse lands him in the hospital.

"Paul sobbed heartily. Sure he’d miss pants, but dammit, dope was sacred."

Part Three: Pink Lady and Geoff
In which Paul meets the fabulous Pink Lady and the lovely Geoff.

"He stole the ‘Thank you for Pot Smoking’ and ‘Welcome Thieves’ signs on his way up, cramming them into his backpack. 'Maybe I should think about feeling bad about stealing,' he thought. 'That’s almost as good as feeling bad about stealing, which is almost as good as not stealing at all.' He felt less guilty already. It was probably a function of his ethics class."

Part Four: Teenage Mutant Ninja Christians I
In which Paul is stolen away from the Reed College campus by Christian fanatics.

"'Resistance is useless!'
'Say it like you mean it, Carl!'
'I DO mean it! Will you stop using my name? The H-E-A-T-H-E-N might hear.'"

Part Five: Teenage Mutant Ninja Christians II: Electric Boogaloo
In which Paul meets the lovely Dave.

"Paul felt like an unattractive weenie with stumpy eyelashes."

Part Six: The Lost Episode
(Which could not be found in my bag for several months.)
In which Paul and Dave become better acquainted.

"You know, you remind me of a very mature Johnny Quest. What’s your name, anyway?"

Part Seven: Raising Hell, or Something Like That
In which Paul and Dave become very well acquainted indeed. In which you may well find yourself offended, if you are inclined to such things.

"The tendons in Dave’s neck stretched out like iced tea spoons poured out of skim milk marble."

Part Eight: Out of the Brimstone, Into the Firetrap
In which Paul's life crumbles like a crumbcake.

"How the hell am I supposed to get my stuff if I can’t get into my room?"
"No problem. Bat Boy threw all your stuff in a big pile and burned it."

Part Nine: Surfin' Safari
In which Paul attends a party at the Firetrap.

"Sloane, why are you looking through kitchen drawers? There’s no beer in them. The beer is outside. We should be outside, with the beer."

Part Ten: Grand Funk Snowmonkey
In which the party lurches along.

Nixon exited the bathroom, giving the Victory sign. "Four more years!"