Part One:
Control
Clean
Shampoo
Condition
Product

Two:
Haircut
Straightening

I am not a licensed hair professional and take no responsibility for what you do with your hair. Gather information and think before you act.

Control:  Your first goal should be to get control over your hair and stop it from incorporating small objects.  Straight haired friends and relatives may tell you to brush or comb your hair, which generally leads to out of control frizziness.  The best way to control your hair is to wash it, put gel and/or leave in conditioner and/or detangler on and then comb it.  Using the wide teeth, comb away from the scalp, starting with the ends first and working your way to the scalp (as not to jam all the tangles together). Comb your hair out every time you wash your hair. Then style away. 

Failing washing your hair, you can put some spray-in conditioner on your hair along with some pomade or gel or defrizzant and brush with a boar or other natural bristle brush. This should reset your hair.  You can also put pins, braids, or curlers in to try and control the set of your hair. 

Do not try to dry comb your hair unless you have a death wish.  It just makes your hair look ratty and makes your scalp ache.  OK I have to admit, I dry comb from time to time. I do not do it to control my hair. I do it to detangle my hair when I don't feel like washing it.

For maximal control of frizziness, air dry your hair. 

Items which may be useful in controlling your hair: steel curler pins, hair pins (*not bobby pins*), wrapped elastics, those new ouch free elastics (which stretch out quickly, but are very cheap), scarves and bandanas, combs, hats.

Clean: Stop washing your hair so goddamned often.  You have probably been convinced by the media and your parents that you need to wash your hair once a day. Unless you have a scalp condition or are on a swim team you shouldn't. Only wash your hair when it's dirty, which could be as infrequently as once a week (maybe less). By washing your hair too often you may be zapping your hair of the natural oils that defrizz your hair.   Start letting natural oils build up on your hair for that shiny and healthy look *and* end up spending less on hair products. 

Shampoo: Never buy a shampoo that lists alcohol as one of its major ingredients; it'll dry out your hair: frizz city.  Never ever buy anything marked as 'combination shampoo and conditioner.'   Sometimes you may want a shampoo that will either leave buildup to weigh your hair down or remove buildup. Beyond that, most shampoos are pretty similar in effect. You can pick them based on smell (which is what I do) or because they don't animal test or any other thing you so choose.You really do not have to pay a million dollars for shampoo, unless it makes you feel good. I tend to switch around a lot, but have been using Nioxin Bionutrient cleanser lately with decent results. If you have a scalp condition, Neutrogena T-Gel works well. It smells terrible though. When you shampoo, you are not supposed to use extremely hot water because it strips all the oil from your hair. Just think about what happens when you use very hot water to wash your dishes. Warm should be sufficient in most cases.

Conditioner: Conditioner is massively important.  It's the difference between having hair that feels healthy and hair that doesn't.  You could spend obscene amounts on conditioner (i.e. Aveda, which is quite good if you can afford it), but you don't necessarily have to.  Pantene Pro V is a pretty good affordable conditioner (though I've gotten some flak on that) as is Jason Aloe 84%.  Currently I am using Nioxin Structure and Strength conditioner.

It's a good idea to condition in the shower, but you may also want to add some leave-in conditioner.  Due to my upbringing I was raised to think that there was something dirty and wrong with the idea of leaving conditioner in my hair. Also,  I was convinced by advertising that you could not leave regular conditioner (not marked 'leave in') on your hair.   The only thing wrong with leaving conditioner in your hair is picking a conditioner that shows up in your dry hair as chunks of white stuff or worse yet, chunks of blue stuff.  Be warned that some conditioners marked   'leave in' are very watery and are appropriate for resetting curly hair but not conditioning it. Choose wisely, Luke. 

Product:  It used to be that there were almost no products for frizzy hair.   Everything was designed to bodify limp straight hair, to the great annoyance of us curlyheads.  These days there's a dizzying array of product to spend your hard earned cash on.  Probably the most basic combination of products is 'leave in' conditioner (which does *not* have to be marked 'leave in') plus gel. 

The basic idea is to balance softness/healthiness with control (thus conditioner and gel).  You could spend all year picking a conditioner.  But for gel, things are simpler.  Go for something alcohol-free to avoid frizz.  If you have light colored hair, avoid colored gels.  Lots of gels advertise themselves as non-sticky or non-tacky, which is unfortunately the type of gel that seems to work best on curly hair.   Things marked 'sculpting' or 'extra hold' seem to work well, though it's difficult to quantify what these buzzwords mean.  Personally I'm fond of Nirvana gel. It comes in bulk.

Other hair care products to try include detanglers, defrizzants, and pomades.  I'm not up on all of them.  Many of the detanglers include alcohol, which should be avoided.  With defrizzants, the product won't necessarily uncurl your hair (as pictured on the side of the container, undoubtedly) unless you use a hair dryer, although if you air dry your hair it will appear less frizzy.  Defrizzants work kind of like activator, but without that 'Thriller' look.  Pomades can work magic on frizzy hair, but a few people's scalps, including my own, are irritated by some of them.  I'm an advocate of anti-humectant pomade because I live in a humid climate and want to seal moisture out of my hair.  I've been informed by one woman that humectant pomade also works in humid climates, but I'm afraid to try it out. I am currently using Nioxin 'smoothly defined.' What can I say? I like Nioxin.

Your product choices should be based largely upon your budget and climate.  The best way to stretch your hair care dollar is to buy from the African American hair care section.  There are many fine products there (i.e. Afro Sheen). Your climate will dictate whether and if you should  have waxy or oily buildup to weigh down your hair.  If you live in a particularly humid climate, you may try anti-humectant, waxy, or silicon based defrizzing products in order to keep humidity out of the hair shaft.   If you live in a dry climate I have no clue what to try. Other than some static guard.  If you get crazy weather, try to keep an assortment of product on hand and watch the Weather Channel.

And remember, curlyheads and non-curlyheads alike, smell is an important component of your product choice. Remember, in the warm seasons, insects gather around things that are brightly colored and sweet smelling, including your hair.  Watch out for products that smell strongly fruity or flowery. If you have a scalp condition, it is best to stay away from strongly scented shampoo anyway, as that might aggravate your problem.

on to part two